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Motherhood
No, I Do Not Support Your Parenting Choices
Some people will say they will support you in your parenting choices, whatever those choices are. I am not one of them.
If an adult hits or threatens to hit another adult, that’s abuse. If a parent hits or threatens to hit a child, that’s abuse.
If you know that smacked children are more likely to become adults who misuse alcohol, experience depression and engage in anti-social and aggressive behaviours, and still choose to use violence or threats of it against your children, I c…
Gentle Parenting is Not Unboundaried Passivity
Gentle parenting respects the needs of children as valid and worthy of being met, without dismissing the needs or boundaries of their parents.
Gentle parenting is developmentally appropriate guidance and support, not a lack of discipline.
Gentle parenting is expansive for parents, not self-minimising.
Gentle parenting creates confident, resilient individuals, not spoiled ones.
Gentle parenting is an active, effortful choice, not avoidant passivity.
…
To the Parents Playing the Long Game
To the parents playing the long gameGentle parenting, responsive parenting, conscious parenting… whatever you want to call it, it’s not easy.
There are a million times you will want to send them to their rooms, introduce some kind of rigid sleep or feeding schedule, tell them to get over it.
There will be a million times you’ll get side-eye in the supermarket while they’re crying, wind up crying yourself, wonder if your relationship will survive this.
The…
Lockdown Was Easier Than This
At the risk of sounding like an ungrateful cow... lockdown was easier than this.
Not necessarily better, but definitely easier.
I know I’m in the acute minority for whom this is the case, how beyond fortunate I am, how this might sound hugely selfish or plain ridiculous to some, but it’s true for me.
During lockdown, my partner was working from home on reasonably flexible hours.
For me as a stay-home, work-in-pockets-of-time parent, those few months of lockdown were…
Motherhood and child-raising are framed as sites of competition.
Motherhood and child-raising are framed as sites of competition.
From the very start, you’ll be told you don’t want your child to be at the smaller end of the growth chart.
You want them to be ahead of their milestones.
You want them to be “keeping up” at school.
And if they're not, well, it’s on you.
What did you do wrong?
Did you give them too much support, or not enough?
How did you let this happen on your watch?
Mothers and primary pa…
My Kids Are Not The Problem. Your Expectations Are.
Kids are not good sleepers, by adult standards.
Kids eat frequently, by adult standards.
Kids are emotionally volatile, by adult standards.
Kids are clingy, by adult standards.
Kids are hyperactive, by adult standards.
Kids are loud, by adult standards.
Kids are messy, by adult standards.
Kids ask too many questions, by adult standards.
✅Yes! Kids are a lot, but that’s not actually a problem.
❌Ad…
Mothers As A Foghorn For The Family's Needs: Why It's Not As Simple As Telling Fathers To "Step Up"
“My doctor was lovely but they didn’t get it. They suggested therapy and yes, it might help, but I already know what I need to do to look after myself. I need to read a book in the sunshine, with more than five minutes between interruptions. I need to go for a run, regularly. I need to sleep for ten years. And above all, I need my husband to deal with his own sh*t so he can actually parent instead of me doing everything for everyone and him being a passenger in this family.”
I receive multiple …
Parenting Affirmations and the Cult of Presence
This morning I listened to a body relaxation and affirmations recording I used when my daughter was tiny.
It told me I would be “present” today.It told me I would smile because I knew I was “doing my best in every moment”.It told me I my best was “always good enough”.
Instead of feeling relaxed, I felt compassion for the New Mum who filled her head with such crap.
Today I step into my day knowing:
I will not be present all day longI will not…Self-Employed or Social Media Employee? Resetting A Boundary For Your Business.
An advisor once told me that a successful business is one where every employee is totally replaceable.
If you’re self-employed like me, that sounds impossible to achieve, and in many ways it is.
But when I create content for social media, I am essentially an employee. Apps are making their money by you and I making content and putting it next to ads. If I don’t make content for a day, no one’s feed will be empty - I am replaceable here.
So where am I irreplaceable? Where p…
The 9 Week Wait: My AZ Experience
Nine weeks ago I was sitting here crying.
I had a Pfizer appointment booked a few weeks later, but regional Pfizer doses kept getting rediverted. Knowing I wanted to be protected before schools reopened, I had taken what at the time felt like a massive risk and made the call to get an AZ.
The nurse was lovely. I gave my consent and hardly felt the shot. Afterwards she asked me if I was ok, but when I tried to answer her no sound came out.
I was part relieved to start the pro…
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