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Parenting
I 100 per cent get how tired you are right now
“Oh, the sleep deprivation. I 100 per cent get how tired you are right now.”
So says the bearded tradie I’ve never met before, who is currently in my kitchen attempting to fix our under-sink plumbing.
It’s just after 8am and I am on the couch nearby in my pyjamas, bleary-eyed, feeding my squirming toddler.
We’ve been up together since 4am, except for the not-sure-if-it-was-worth-it nap I wrangled between 7.15am when hubby got up to get ready for work and 8am when…
Seven Minute Bluey Parenting Challenge
Every episode of Bluey is seven minutes.
When you think cartoon dogs are doing better at parenting than you, remember you are only seeing them parenting for seven minutes across a day.
Sometimes being “fun” is the last thing we want to do, but we can totally do seven minutes.
Set a timer to be totally child-led and phone-free for seven minutes.
Maybe 14 if 7 was too easy, or 21 if you’re feeling brave.
When you know there’s an end point, it’s easier than you’d think.
Give it a go - Chilli and Bandit g…
No, I Do Not Support Your Parenting Choices
Some people will say they will support you in your parenting choices, whatever those choices are. I am not one of them.
If an adult hits or threatens to hit another adult, that’s abuse. If a parent hits or threatens to hit a child, that’s abuse.
If you know that smacked children are more likely to become adults who misuse alcohol, experience depression and engage in anti-social and aggressive behaviours, and still choose to use violence or threats of it against your children, I c…
Gentle Parenting is Not Unboundaried Passivity
Gentle parenting respects the needs of children as valid and worthy of being met, without dismissing the needs or boundaries of their parents.
Gentle parenting is developmentally appropriate guidance and support, not a lack of discipline.
Gentle parenting is expansive for parents, not self-minimising.
Gentle parenting creates confident, resilient individuals, not spoiled ones.
Gentle parenting is an active, effortful choice, not avoidant passivity.
…
To the Parents Playing the Long Game
To the parents playing the long gameGentle parenting, responsive parenting, conscious parenting… whatever you want to call it, it’s not easy.
There are a million times you will want to send them to their rooms, introduce some kind of rigid sleep or feeding schedule, tell them to get over it.
There will be a million times you’ll get side-eye in the supermarket while they’re crying, wind up crying yourself, wonder if your relationship will survive this.
The…
Lockdown Was Easier Than This
At the risk of sounding like an ungrateful cow... lockdown was easier than this.
Not necessarily better, but definitely easier.
I know I’m in the acute minority for whom this is the case, how beyond fortunate I am, how this might sound hugely selfish or plain ridiculous to some, but it’s true for me.
During lockdown, my partner was working from home on reasonably flexible hours.
For me as a stay-home, work-in-pockets-of-time parent, those few months of lockdown were…
Motherhood and child-raising are framed as sites of competition.
Motherhood and child-raising are framed as sites of competition.
From the very start, you’ll be told you don’t want your child to be at the smaller end of the growth chart.
You want them to be ahead of their milestones.
You want them to be “keeping up” at school.
And if they're not, well, it’s on you.
What did you do wrong?
Did you give them too much support, or not enough?
How did you let this happen on your watch?
Mothers and primary pa…
My Kids Are Not The Problem. Your Expectations Are.
Kids are not good sleepers, by adult standards.
Kids eat frequently, by adult standards.
Kids are emotionally volatile, by adult standards.
Kids are clingy, by adult standards.
Kids are hyperactive, by adult standards.
Kids are loud, by adult standards.
Kids are messy, by adult standards.
Kids ask too many questions, by adult standards.
✅Yes! Kids are a lot, but that’s not actually a problem.
❌Ad…
Mothers As A Foghorn For The Family's Needs: Why It's Not As Simple As Telling Fathers To "Step Up"
“My doctor was lovely but they didn’t get it. They suggested therapy and yes, it might help, but I already know what I need to do to look after myself. I need to read a book in the sunshine, with more than five minutes between interruptions. I need to go for a run, regularly. I need to sleep for ten years. And above all, I need my husband to deal with his own sh*t so he can actually parent instead of me doing everything for everyone and him being a passenger in this family.”
I receive multiple …
Reimagining Post-Lockdown Life
Where do my priorities lie?
In the home where I’ve been while dreaming of outside?
In the eyes I avoid when the feelings are too strong?
The teeth that bite if you’re awake too long?
The food demanded, chewed then thrown away?
The same path walked each and every day?
In day care or swim class or playgrounds galore,
Or a job that beckons behind long locked doors?
In a bank account that could be healthy or be bare,
Or a heart that is full of love to share?
In lessons to learn and l…
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