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Obstetrix: Mothering the mother beyond birth
As the woman stands opposite, she breathes. Her shoulders are relaxed, her gaze is reassuring.
Her ears and eyes are open, she sees all of you laid bare, and breathes. She does not shy away or problem solve.
She sees your obstacles through fresh eyes, and breathes love into them, into you.
And as her heart wraps around yours, you breathe anew. You feel your true self step forth, without temptation to embellish or hide.
"The woman who stands opposite", "the one who sees obstacles" and "midw…
Why the silence around breastfeeding as pain relief for teething is a pain in itself
An insta post grabbed my eye this week: a pretty graphic titled "How to soothe your teething toddler".
With my bub struggling through I don't know how many teeth (including molars) coming at once, I was all eyes and ears.
The ideas shown suggested I should "give dummies or chew toys" and "distract with milk" with a picture of a bottle.
As I sat on the kitchen floor breastfeeding my child for the zillionth time this week, the message "your child is using you as a dummy" was loud and clear as…
How do you know when you're "done" having babies?
Through the days, my bright, affectionate, determined child fills the room with her energy.
Yet as I lay chest to chest with her, enveloping her ever-growing frame in the dim morning light, I drink in the baby that only returns when she sleeps.
I survey her soft, full cheeks and lips, slightly parted.
I marvel over her indescribably perfect button nose, and impossibly long eyelashes.
I feel her warm breath against my neck, her hands resting against my chest, and know that when she wakes, s…
Baby Blues? This is why your mood crashes on day three
Many mums experience a glistening high or adrenalin rush the first couple of days post-birth. Sometime around day three to five, they suddenly feel like they've been hit by a steamroller. Tiredness catches up with them and they can feel fragile, teary and a little lost in her new role. Mama's mood slumps, she may be irritable or have difficulty sleeping, and she can start to question herself - am I really cut out for this? Here's what is actually happening behind the scenes hormonally.
During…
How To Lighten Your Load Through Mutually Fulfilling Minutes
It has been suggested that the minimum hands on care that a newborn needs is nine hours per day. Most need far more, fragmented throughout the day and night, particularly if it likes to sleep in your arms, as is preferred by many babies. So how to get through that time without going insane?
Emmeline at from Project Village talks about finding "sites of mutual fulfilment", meaning activities that you and baby both enjoy, and sprinkling them through the day.
With an older baby you might notice…
How "Baby Brain" Makes You Smarter
So many mamas ask about baby brain.
Maybe you forget your colleague's name.
Or you pack for swimming lessons and arrive with a swim nappy and goggles but no swimmers.
Or you arrive at your appointment on the right day and the right time but on the wrong week.
So is "baby brain" real? Yes.
Is it exaggerated? Often.
So why does it happen? This is why.
Your brain goes through a software upgrade when you're pregnant.
1. Your brain shrinks in specific areas. It deletes some old connections that are unimporta…
How Choosing a Car Seat Changed My Ideas on Parenting
I spent hours researching this car seat. Days in fact, maybe even a week or more.
Everything else I picked up from Gumtree or as hand-me-downs without too much planning or expense - bassinet, pram, carriers, clothes, cloth nappies, swaddles, sleeping bags - the list of baby gear could go on forever.
The car seat though, where you're asked to weigh up safety features, ease of use, expense, rear and forward facing capacities, comfort...this felt like a huge responsibility. It was one of the firs…
When Breastfeeding Feels Never Ending
Again, already?!
Ummm yeah.
Newborn tummies are tiny and breastmilk is very easily digestible. Feeding schedules are made in response to infant formula, not boob. As much as some professionals still recommend watching the clock, this has been debunked for years.
Watch your baby, call for back up so others can do every other task on your to-do list, and get cosy on the couch for some serious cluster feeding.
Cluster feeding is frequent/non-stop feeding, which is most common in the evenings …
Hair Cuts and Helicopters
Data from the Australian Institute of Family Studies suggests that the more involved Dads are in hands-on child care, the more satisfied they are in their relationships with their kids.
Biology dictates that the female sex bears the work of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. The balance of labour in early infancy is tipped towards the birth parent, while the non-birth parent's primary role is to support the mother-baby unit.
As that baby grows, it is easy to continue with that pattern of mum …
Bluey and Boundaries
Have you seen that episode of Bluey where the parents get put in ‘dance mode’ which makes them dance in socially awkward situations? At the end of the episode, Bingo (Bluey’s sister) is sad after getting her dad to dance at a time of her mum Chilli’s choosing, not her own. Chilli asks Bingo “sometimes does your outside voice say ‘yes’, even when your inside voice says ‘no’?”. The moral of the story is to listen to and respect our quiet inner voice, not just give an answer that pleases others.
W…
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